YOU HAVEN'T SEEN: When Harry Met Sally

People get angry when they find out I haven't seen their favorite, classic, essential-addition-to-the-pop-cultural-cannon film. Really angry. So I made a list, and am working my way through. Join me as I watch your favorite movie for the first time. 

Edit: This was originally posted in November of 2015!

THOUGHTS UPON WATCHING WHEN HARRY MET SALLY FOR THE FIRST TIME AS A 20 SOMETHING IN THE YEAR 2015:

Old people telling their love story!! I love elderly people stories! Ahhhh!

MEG RYAN YOUR 70s HAIR. I LOVE IT.

TBH: I know I’m looking at Meg Ryan speaking but all I hear is Anastasia. #90skid

TBH: I know I'm supposed to be looking at Billy Crystal as a young, off-beat romantic lead but all I hear is Mike Wazowski from Monster's Inc. #90skid

OMG THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT CASABLANCA. I JUST WATCHED CASABLANCA AND I NOW KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DEBATING.

MEG RYAN AGREES WITH ME. OF COURSE SHE WOULD RATHER GO WITH CZECH HUSBAND THAN BOGEY.

“Women are very practical, even Ingrid Bergman, which is why she gets on the plane at the end of the movie.” - YES YES YES

Just saw her mom pants.

Just saw her knee socks.

They just sat down at a table. This must be the salad dressing on the side scene!

(Oil and vinegar scene apparently, I stand corrected.)

“They don’t make Sunday. Because of God.” - I’m betting this ends up being my favorite line of this whole movie.

Sally is the opposite of the manic-pixie-dream-girl and I love her for that. Manic-color-coded-high-functioning-dream-girl.

MIKE WAZOWSKI DO NOT LOOK AT ANASTASIA LIKE THAT.

I hate the come on that is a guy flirting about how he’s not coming on to you. It’s like painting a girl in a corner while talking about how you’re not even painting, you’re just demonstrating painting - and all she can do is wait patiently for the paint to dry because you’ve trapped her with your attraction. It’s so unfair.

I don’t trust early 80’s Aryan boyfriend.

There’s no way a guy on an airplane would volunteer to give up the aisle seat to take the middle seat, even to let Harry sit by Sally.

I would love having a rolodex to carry to fancy lunches.

Bearded Billy Crystal is a significantly more handsome Billy Crystal. Am I attracted to Billy Crystal? How did you do that, Nora?

“What’s the statute of limitations on apologies?” Nora your lines are just the best.

Shots of ice skaters! Manhattan! New York looks so stunning and lovely and sparkly and magical in this movie, even more so than in You Got Mail. I had the same magical feeling with the cinematography in Hannah and Her Sisters. Was New York a more hopeful, optimistic, lovely place then? Or were filmmakers just less cynical during that era? Or was New York cleaner? Or were film lenses just fuzzier, ergo the city looked more squinty and lovely?

WHOAH his apartment! I wouldn’t mind being lonely and sad if it meant being lonely and sad in that apartment.

“Ingrid Bergman is low maintenance.” NUHUH NO SHE ISN’T. SOMETIMES SHE JUST PULLS OUT A GUN WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT.

“Low maintenance” is a badge men hand out to women which I have no interest in earning. It’s just the OG manifestation of “cool girl” which is just another way to shame and then reward girls out of having a voice and opinions and preferences and an active participation in their own lives. Cheers to all my high maintenance ladies. *clinks glasses with Meg Ryan*

“I’ll have what she’s having” is from this movie!! Well delivered, Diner Lady #3.

The older couple that interrupt each other and tell their story simultaneously (The “he rode 9 extra flights on the elevator” couple) is genius. I couldn’t stop laughing a completely un-ironic laugh!
(Related: Is this the perfect movie?)

Oh it’s New Years and they’re spinning and they are feeling. They're gonna kiss!

I’m so bummed they didn’t kiss.

There’s a chance this is in fact the perfect movie.

Meg Ryan permed hair is my aspirational hair.

Ugh. HELEN. Who needs Helen. Everyone has a person-who-would-make-your-guts-freeze-if-you-ran-into-them-at-a-home-goods-store and GO AWAY HELEN.

Oh when they fight and then Harry says “Can I just say one thing” and his one thing is “I’m sorry” I just melted. I didn’t expect to love or root for Billy Crystal even a little bit, but here I am. Again: how’d you do that, Nora?

NO DO NOT HOOK UP DO NOT DO IT.
There is this very specific kissing style that I only see in older rom coms and also Sam and Diane from Cheers, this sort of guppy, neck crinkling kiss. I’m excited for you guys but also, there’s just a lot of facial smearing.

The one perk of being supporting-best-friends-who-get-married characters is the His and Hers landlines.

Did everyone actually think these giant 90s wedding dresses were beautiful at the time? Or were they just pretending, like I was pretending to like the mullet dresses of 2013 that were way higher in the front than the back?

“I am, I am the dog.”

I too would have caved at the karaoke voicemail. How can you resist a karaoke voicemail? I would have called even Bogey back if he had left a karaoke voicemail.

For those following along, it's New Years a year later and I'm too involved to comment, shhhh.

Lesson from WHMS: When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you start running.

Lesson from WHMS: You should archive a series of really specific traits or annoying habits about the person you love to recall in an instant in case they don't believe you love them.

In summation: This is the perfect romantic comedy. [I hear you all saying “DUH, you're late to the party!" Be gracious, I'd like to dance at the party too now, even thought you're all tearing down and cleaning up] I always knew Nora Ephron was a genius in theory, but now I have tasted and seen that the rom-com is good. Instantly a top 10 favorite.